Lisa's Day

Christmas 1998

I did not scan any of the pieces for Christmas 1998 because there were just too many, and most of it was writing. There had been some family crap about Dad and his will (he left everything to his wife Margaret, with nothing for us). We all gathered at Dad and Margaret's in Indianoplace.

Steve and I almost didn't make it - it snowed/sleeted the day we were to travel, and nothing took off from Memphis, so we had to go back home, after 12 hours. We went back the next afternoon and got on a plane in the evening. In my catch-up writing I wrote that Steve delighted in telling everyone, "It's not every day that the President gets impeached on your birthday!" Jami called it "The biggest news story no one cares about." I saw the First Family waving from a plane, and wrote:  Grit your teeth and smile!

I managed to forget my birth control pills, and none of my menopausal sisters had pills or feminine products, so that was fun. Steve said, "You structure your whole life around taking them!"

Everyone was there - siblings and nieces and nephews. Steve enjoyed the Big Family Christmas. He even made a toast to say he was enjoying being around all this family.

I missed this, but my sister Lin told me that Steve fixed a plate of food Christmas Day, set it on the counter to get a drink, and Dad, thinking it was for him, said, "Thank you!" and proceeded to eat it. Steve just shrugged and got another plate.

Here are two pix of the whole clan:

Look on the table behind us. That is my Mom's Nativity. After Dad died in 2003, I asked Margaret if she still had it. "Oh, yes, I do." In other words, I'm not getting it back. She's still living in Mom & Dad's house.

December 1998 J. Pieces

12/11/98 Brrr! Cold at the bus stop! And...Kitty is back on his porch! ...All puffed up, like cats do when they’re cold.

12/11/98 Oh, and Lenore’s comment: Tuesday, since we had no groceries AND I needed some crafty stuff, I called Steve & offered to take him to Outback if he’d take me to the craft store. He was going to offer to take me to the Greek restaurant (Great Minds...), so we did that Wed. night. ANYWAY, when he got to work, we were walking down the hall so I could go clock out, and Sandra & Lisa were in their offices. Kerry was faxing, and Lenore was in the hall.

12/11/98 So, Steve asks me, “Do you want to go home and change first?” And I said, “No, I’ll go like this.” As the door to the lab areas was closing, Lenore grabbed it and said, “No, Lisa, the proper response is, ‘What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?!’” And all us females laughed. But Steve didn’t get it!

12/11/98 Steve was so puzzled, all I could do was laugh! And laugh! We got back to my desk, and he still didn’t have a clue, so I said I’d explain later. In the car, I told him he was lucky he didn’t have an Overly Sensitive Female for a girlfriend! I explained how some women will take what a man says wrong and get offended.

12/11/98 Some women twist what you say into an insult, or just get mad, and you’ve no idea why. Then, Steve understood, explaining that he would never mean the question to be interpreted that way...he just knows that usually I like to change out of work clothes before I go play.

12/29/98 Kitty! Puffed up from the cold...and my fingers are freezing. Must abandon drawing to put on gloves!!! [By the way, we went to Indianapolis to spend Christmas with my entire family-too many pieces to scan. Nothing eventful, but after we left, my siblings questioned Dad about the will. Everything goes to Mags when he dies.]

12/29/98 Did I mention that Steve expressed interest in a tree? A couple weeks ago, as we were driving out of our complex, I pointed to the house across the street and said, “Look at the pretty tree!” And Steve said, “I wish we could have a tree.” I said, “I didn’t know you wanted a tree!”

12/29/98 He thought we couldn’t have a tree because of the cats. But these old cats won’t topple a tree. We don’t need glass ornaments. I told him that we’d get one in the After-Xmas sales. I bought lights today and an Eeyore and a Pooh ornament. Steve likes Eeyore. So do I.

12/30/98 Two Coffee Stories: Marilynn overheard someone at an airport saying he got a cup of coffee at the Seattle airport, “...and it was so tiny! And really strong!” (“Espresso!” “Yes, I am in a bit of a hurry...”) [That’s from Ab Fab.] Yesterday Steve said an 8-year-old came to the coffee bar and ordered a ½-caf ½-decaf Cappuccino, skim milk, foam only. SIGH.

12/31/98 So, what’s left for ’98? I spent way too much time fretting & worrying, and not enough enjoying the daily moments. Many were lost, or just passed by, because I fretted over big things I couldn’t fix right away.

12/31/98 Yes, my debt is still huge, but is it worth fretting over it to DISTRACTION to the point where I can’t enjoy a game of B5 cards or just petting the cats? What is the important stuff?

12/31/98 The other stuff (debt, body fat, roaches) will take care of themselves. But I must take care of What Is Important in my life. In all our lives.

12/31/98 Okay. I’ve done enough cataloguing of the Bad Stuff of ’98. The Good Things: I got a job I like. Steve got a job he likes. Steve went back to school. [Got grades yesterday: 3.76 GPA!] Made new friends at work, especially Kerri. Clean new apt. Got to see all of family. “Sisters!” Played cool games w/the Mung Beasts. And, of course, the Best Thing: my terrific relationship w/my Sweetie!!!!!!

12/31/98 A hug from Steve is VASTLY more important than my huge VISA balance. I know what is important. Yet I chose to fret over what isn’t.

12/31/98 It’s 8:58 pm. Steve is sorting his bugs for the Epic game this Saturday. Griffin is under Steve’s chair (except Steve just backed up & made him move). And I’m writing on the couch. Mooshie is lying on the arm of the couch.

November 1998 J. Pieces

11/2/98 Mooshie sleeping on my book.

11/2/98 Odd drawing of The Griffin.

11/17/98 Just When You Thought It Would Go Away...THEY RELEASED THE MONICA LEWINSKY-LINDA TRIPP TAPES!!!!!! I can’t grab the remote fast enough!

11/17/98 Griffin has been ALL OVER ME while I’ve been working at the table...rubbing his head on my hand, settling down in front of me (on what I’m working on!). I stretched out my left arm, and he curled up onto it, nestled into the crook of my arm. I don’t have the heart to disturb him yet.

11/17/98 It’s hard to draw with a cat sleeping on your arm... (corrected & reworked the drawing...)

October 1998 J. Pieces

10/2/98 Kitty was on his porch again this morning! 7:37 am It’s chilly, so he’s kind of “puffed out.” (like cats do.)

10/2/98 I feel like a couch slug.

10/5/98 I’m getting the October Weepies again. I can still remember what it felt like to hug Mom.

10/5/98

10/5/98

10/11/98 Reading through all my Grad School sketchbooks put me in a strange mood. I picked up and put up with an awful lot of USELESS CRAP while in Grad School.

10/19/98 Oh, yeah. Saturday, on the way back from brunch & Art Ctr, there was a yard sale at the Kitty’s house (that I see from the bus stop). And Kitty was on top of a chest of drawers! Cats are just the same all over!

10/21/98 Now it’s 11:48 pm and I really have to get to bed. I’m in a really pissy mood. I’ve been stewing over my finances again. I have about $50. to last the next week and a half. I need a lot of things – new jacket, shoes, fall clothes, but I can’t get them.

10/21/98 And I’m having those “I AM NOT AN ARTIST” feelings.

10/23/98 Steve picked me up at 3 today, and we went to the nursing home to see Nanny. Steve’s Dad met us there, and Jason & Chloe (Matt had to work). Norm had the home (a Jewish home) make a Kosher cake. It’s her 85th birthday today. She did look pretty good, and could answer simple questions. A lot better than the last time we saw her.

September 1998 J. Pieces

9/1/98 Kitty was back on his porch this morning!

9/21/98 Steve called around lunchtime today. He said he was eating in the lounge, and they had Clinton’s videotaped testimony on. He was eating pizza. When they got to Monica’s dress, while Steve was still eating, he decided he’d had enough. I refuse to listen to any of it!

9/21/98 I AM A PRISONER OF TIME AND OBLIGATIONS.

9/21/98 There is no tortoise. I AM ONLY THE HARE!

9/22/98 It’s 7:30 am, and I’m at the bus stop. It’s steamy, hot & humid. Woke up in a BAD MOOD. DID NOT want to get up. Cuddling with my Steve helped me feel better. But I don’t want to go to work. Kitty is back across the street. Haven’t seen him in a long while.

9/22/98 What’s wrong with me today?

9/25/98 This morning, I was running late. By the time coffee was ready, and oatmeal, it was 7:25. I was going to make a pb&j sandwich, but could not locate the jelly amidst the crowding in the fridge. I just said Forget it, and quickly ate my oatmeal. I wasn’t sure what I’d have for lunch. Steve jumped up, ran to the kitchen, located the jelly, and made me a sandwich!

9/26/98 Yesterday, school was let out all over Memphis because of Fair Day (the Fair began Thurs.). Sandra was leaving early. I asked if I could leave early, too. Steve called from campus early in the afternoon, and I told him to come get me. Before we left, he called Bookstar --- they hired him!!! He starts Tuesday. [Steve had enough of Blockbuster Music; Bookstar was a better place to work.]

9/27/98 I need more TIME to work on my art. And yet, when I do get a chunk of time, I want to do something stupid like bake cookies. WHY?

August 1998 J. Pieces

8/2/98 I spent the day with my Steve! We went to Applebee’s for brunch, then grocery shopping. Then out to browse around Wolf Chase Mall. Then Mike called --- this Sunday was NOT cancelled! So, to Mike’s for the evening. We created Marvel roleplaying characters.

8/4/98 I’ve had a lot of ideas and stories kicking around in my head for the past week because I haven’t had an opportunity to get them down.

8/10/98 Steve told me to ask Jason about Matthew’s new girlfriend. He was rather reluctant. First he said she was 30. (Matthew is 18.) She just left her husband – not divorced yet. She has two kids, I think. And she moved into Matthew’s room, at Dad’s apartment. What can I say? (...that isn’t rude?)

8/10/98 Today at work, the receptionist, who was on her way out anyway for arriving late, leaving mid-day, sending memos with grammatical errors, not doing her work, etc...said she was going to the store. Later, Jean noticed she left her badge and her keys. She didn’t return! [Thus began our favorite office joke: I’m going to the store!]

8/20/98 Did I mention that we missed Clinton’s apology? We thought it was on at 10:00 pm...that was Eastern time. Oh, well, they reran enough excerpts. I still don’t understand why it’s such a huge deal. I think it’s more of an embarrassment than anything. Like nobody else in politics ever lied?

8/20/98 Well, goodness! Go to work, and next thing you know, the whole world’s changed! We bombed terrorist camps in Sudan and Afghanistan, so Clinton had to rush back from Martha’s Vineyard. I guess we can’t all just get along...

8/21/98 Mooshie did a Button! She got on the couch and FELL DOWN (on purpose), then rolled around & around.

8/28/98 Today we played a Star Trek Full Thrust battle for nearly 8 hours! (7 hrs 40 mins including breaks & lunch – 9:30 till 5:09). I had 30 minis (some were fighters representing 6 ships). Steve had about that many, too, but lots of his represented 3 ships per mini. He won, but I did pretty good! He only had 5 ships left.

8/28/98 They also blew up the space station/listening post we were supposed to be protecting. His five remaining ships were all big ships, but I destroyed all the Jimmy Deans (Jem HA’Dar). It was FUN!!!!!! We got sandwiches from Kwik-Chek for lunch. And we never got tired, because we started so early.

8/28/98 Steve pacing around. [I took some time off so we could play a huge battle before Steve went back to school at University of Memphis, to finish his undergraduate degree.]

8/28/98 Afterwards, however, I fell asleep on the couch while Steve watched tonight’s B5. I made us some tea, at Steve’s suggestion. (The last of the Earl Grey.) And now, in honor of Boris Yeltsin’s incoherent ramblings and his insistence “I WILL NOT RESIGN,” we are playing Politika. I chose Yeltsin’s Reformers! Steve’s the Commies.

8/31/98

8/31/98 This morning, at the bus stop, I spotted a small black cat with a white patch on his chest lying on a porch rail at a house across the street. I got the urge to draw it, so I put down my backpack and got out my little red box. I didn’t even see the bus coming, until I heard its brakes screech as it stopped.

July 1998 J. Pieces

7/11/98 The Weather Channel is actually quite entertaining if you pretend you’re tracking Dominion activity instead of clouds. [Dominion from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]

7/16/98 Where are these blue moods coming from? [This looks like Mom!]

7/17/98 We came home and ordered pizza for dinner. And spent lots of time cuddling on the bed.

7/22/98 Mary called and left a message this afternoon – Steve called me & told me to verify it: WE GET TO GO HOME! I called Mary and asked if she meant it. I said, “Don’t tease me!” I found movers for Friday.

7/24/98 This has been the Day of Hell. This Day of Hell supersedes all previous Days of Hell, it was that hellish. It was the heat. And the humidity. I just can’t take the heat.

7/24/98 The day began okay. Except that the phone was out first thing. Steve went out to call the moving co. and let them know we would be there, even though they couldn’t call us. He also went to McDonald’s for breakfast – brought back Egg McMuffins. Then Steve went to his Doctor’s appointment.

7/24/98 Then MLGW cut the power off. The movers showed up. The apt. got very hot very fast. Steve & I had to take the window ac out of the window. We carried a few things out to the car. I was starting to get upset.

7/24/98 We got over here to discover the locks had been changed – I had to run up to the office to get keys. Steve & I couldn’t get the old ac out, so I ran back up to the office. Margaret asked Brad to help. He wanted the old ac.

7/24/98 Steve helped him carry the nasty old thing out to the basement. It was so hot. When the truck was empty, they were ready for the basement. Steve & I went down there to move stuff out from the back so the movers could carry it out. And I lost it.

7/24/98 It was so hot, and I was overheated and miserable, that I just started crying. Steve kept telling me to leave, but there were so many boxes. I finally did go back up.

7/24/98 I stuck the little ac in the window so we could have just a little ac. Margaret & Ski & Mary came to do a walk-through. Oh, yeah, my $80 big mirror is gone, and so is my little wall mirror.

7/24/98 We missed the MLGW guy here, too, at 9:06 am (didn’t know they were sending someone out for the stove gas). But we’ve got electricity and hot water, so that’s all we need (like we’re going to cook after all this?).

June 1998 J. Pieces

6/2/98 Last night, we were going to spend a quiet evening at home, playing games. I was going to make the chicken enchiladas. But it was SO HOT in the apt. I got an idea at work. I pulled out my last Sears bill --- $2,200 open to buy. I asked Steve if he wanted to go shopping for a new a.c. We had dinner at the mall [feminists, close your eyes] at Chik-Fil-A.

6/2/98 I also got the nameplate engraved with Marilynn’s initials, for her book. We bought a BIG a.c.! It’s “freakin’ huge”!!! We didn’t even install it properly, since we’ll be moving soon (according to Mary!). We stuck it in the balcony window, with the back propped up by the stepladder!

6/3/98 Poor Steve. He went to sleep at 3:00 am this morning, then had to get up at 7:00 am because our furniture was being delivered today. But now we have a real bed, a big bed. And two couches! IT’S SO NICE.

6/7/98 Why can’t I just have faith in myself?

6/8/98 How could I forget this?! Saturday, walking home from McLean after donating blood, I stopped at the old apartment. I was going to go in, but there were workmen there. I did, however, stand by Button’s grave for a few moments. A tiny tree has sprouted out of a root from the big tree. I got tears in my eyes.

6/11/98 [Another funny drawing.]

May 1998 J. Pieces

5/1/98 Yesterday, walking home from campus, and walking home from Otherlands, it was so much like being back in grad school --- leisurely walks around the neighborhood, in the middle of a weekday. Now it’s back to M-F 9-5 lifestyle.

5/3/98 Today was my LAST DAY at Wild Oats! Sigh.

5/4/98 My first day at Lifeblood! And it was a surprise --- two days of Orientation! And they got us lunch! We got to choose from a takeout menu. Forms and videos. There are five of us (all women). Their workforce is 60% female.

5/4/98 Sometimes, when I think of how much I love Steve, I feel like crying. I don’t know why. Sometimes I get a lump in my throat.

5/7/98 The other evening, Steve reminded me that it’s nearing the two year anniversary of when we met. And he said, “We love each other as much now as we did that first night.”

5/8/98 When I think of my relationship with Steve, I think about words like treasure and cherish.

5/14/98 I’m lying on the bed writing, and Mooshie is snoring. Loudly. Seriously! Still! [5 mins later, after the drawing.] ZZZZZ Should I wake her? Naaaaa...

5/14/98 Speaking of Mooshie, she’s really turned into Button. She never used to sleep all sprawled out all over the place.

5/14/98

5/14/98 And Griffin has been stepping on our hair and sleeping by our heads. My Sweetie.

5/14/98 I’m so worried about my Sweetie. He’s only got 2 ½ more hours till he can come home. To me. P.S. He came home feeling much better. 5/16/98

5/16/98 I got my degree! In the end, I went alone. This morning I called Norm to see if he was coming, but he was on call this weekend --- if anything breaks down at the hospital, he has to be able to dash over. He apologized profusely, but I told him it was okay. It really was. Steve also said he wished he could come, but he had to work. So it was just me. [Commencement.]

5/16/98 The walk across the stage is a blur. Remy was handing out the degrees. Jeff said he was “so glad” I came. I don’t even know which of my slides they showed. I didn’t even look. But I was so glad to finally have it in my hands.

5/16/98 Afterwards, I saw Sheri, and got a hug. I’d seen Maritza when I came in. I waited for Nona, and we chatted just a bit, but she kept interrupting to greet other students. I walked past Brian, and Allison, who said nothing to me. I decided to just leave.

5/16/98

5/16/98 That wasn’t a very good drawing. Thursday morning, before I left for the bus stop, I sat on the bed next to Steve, put my head on his bare shoulder, and my arms around him, and cuddled with him for about 20 minutes. It was so nice. A treasured moment.

5/17/98 Steve and I have been together two years!

5/18/98 Tell me again why I’m so tired.

5/19/98 [What a funny little drawing!]

5/28/98

April 1998 J. Pieces

4/3/98 Why am I so unsettled and restless tonight? This drawing looks more like Mom than me.

4/4/98 I come home to find Steve fast asleep & surrounded by CATS.

4/8/98 GOD, TODAY SUCKED. I’m so upset, I can’t even write about it --- will catch up tomorrow. WILD OATS, GO TO HELL!

4/9/98 Still mad. Will catch up tomorrow.

4/10/98 I called Lifeblood to set up an interview, but the woman was going to be out of the office all day, and leaving early on Friday, so I don’t have an interview until Monday at 11:30. UGH!

4/10/98 Okay, let’s backtrack to Wednesday. Steve & I both had the day off. We got up & Dad called inviting us for lunch---some sales rep was going to bring us pizza. We did some laundry first. After lunch, we headed over to U of M so Steve could register---and he discovered it is now 100% phone reg’n and had to track down a PIN.

4/10/98 Then we went home. There was a message on the answ. Machine from Jody---she rather cryptically asked Steve to call so they could “talk about some things.’ He called & Jody gave the phone to Steve Brett who asked Steve to come in for just about ten minutes. [Brett was our General Manager/Asshole.]

4/10/98 That’s how long it takes for the GM to make an employee take two weeks of leave involuntarily. They’re taking Steve off the schedule --- it would have been a month, but my Steve bargained down to two weeks.

4/10/98 Steve Brett said people have been calling in sick for every conceivable thing. My Steve got the impression our GM did not believe him about the migraines. Steve Brett told Steve to “rest his psyche.”

4/10/98 So, we went home and I made job-related phone calls, to all three employment agencies and all jobs I faxed resumes to. Nothing. We finally went out to go wander around the Mall, then to Perkins.

4/10/98 Oh, yeah. About 8:30 Thurs. morning (the Day After) Jody calls wanting to know where Steve is!?!?

4/10/98 Today, I wasn’t ignoring Steve Brett, but I wasn’t initiating any conversation. He finally came up to me and said he spoke to---someone---about me taking Lynne’s place, and they were very excited. I told him to keep me posted.

4/10/98 Then he asked how Steve was. I said, “Just fine.” And he tried to play like the whole thing was because he was concerned for Steve’s health. I told him Steve is just a migraine sufferer---you can’t predict when he’ll get one, and you can’t cure them.

4/10/98 Asshole. I don’t like to see them treat Steve this way. He works hard and deserves so much more. He went out looking for another job today---filled out lots of applications.

4/10/98 When we got home from the axe, I mean, Wild Oats, there was lots of mail. Letters from Aunt Betty and Jami. And the gallery in Philadelphia: THEY LOST THEIR LEASE AND ALL THE FALL SHOWS ARE CANCELED. God Dammit.

4/10/98 I worked on the boxes for the Wild Oats show all day yesterday. I finally finished them around midnight. I changed the “Work” images. (Expressing my anger.) [Charles, a local art fixture in Memphis, organized a show in the Wild Oats Café.]

4/10/98 The four boxes are on the themes Art, Love, Home and Work. The art pieces are about art supplies vs. bills, not having enough time, will anyone notice, and carving my niche. The love is all me & Steve. The Home is me & Steve, the cats, no more upheaval & rollplaying. Work contains Steve getting stabbed in the back, reading classifieds, W.O. as a war zone & the Bootheel Factor.

4/10/98 (This is Steve’s) ‘Za of Doom – What do you want? ...on your pizza? Kosh says, “Health Inspector!” Delenn says, “John...if you eat ‘Za of Doom, you will die!” Sheridan says, “Aw, c’mon Delenn. Just one slice!”

4/11/98 Had a much better day today. Pretty slow in the Deli, due to Easter Weekend. [Dan’s Easter Carols:] Bunnies hoppin’ down the trail...and Jesus rising too...

4/13/98 Just after I got to work, Niki came up to me and said, “Lisa, I love you!!” I said, “What did I do?!” She said, “Your artwork in the Café! When I got to the Work box...”

4/16/98 I got up early for my 2nd interview at Lifeblood. I wore one of the new rompers. (Yes, a dress!) It went well. It was with Sandra and three other team leaders. I answered all their questions well. They were to have made a decision today. They did not call.

4/19/98 Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Oh, and Steve had GOOD NEWS – Blockbuster called and hired him! And Wild Oats put him back on the schedule for 32 hours.

4/19/98 Steve came to pick me up, get his schedule, and put in his two week’s notice. So much for our fantasy of both of us putting in our notice on the same day.

4/20/98 I GOT THE JOB!

4/23/98 Am I the only one who suffers from Artistic Guilt?

4/23/98 Artistic Guilt: Self-doubt. The desire to do the kind of artwork that others do. Envy of others’ ideas-methods-focus-success-fame. Inability to produce. The desire to be a marketable HACK. Fear of following your own voice.

4/30/98 Steve & I slept in late. My last chance to do that on a weekday. I decided to forget about going to get a TN driver’s license. We went to IHOP instead.