12/5/97 Somebody hung a DEAD MOUSE at the end of my installation! With a clear tac pin -- not sure if they threw away a square. It was hung by its tail.
12/5/97 Steve was going to take the mouse down, but I made him leave it --- I wanted someone to see it. Steve left (I walked him back out through the maze of halls). I went to the phone to call Brian, but he was coming down the hall.
12/5/97 Brian got a free newspaper from the Sleeze & Slime and took down the dead mouse. He said it probably wasn't personal --- more likely some immature undergraduate - "We've got 18-year-olds here!"
12/15/97 I'm feeling like Frida's cat again. [As in Peanuts.]
12/18/97 Yesterday was my Day With Steve. Slept in. Pancake breakfast. Few errands. Then to Gamemasters.
12/18/97 Last night was Star Wars Rollplaying. Mike introduced the icon of Immense Power. Only the holder of the I.O.I.P. may speak to the GM. Of course, Mike had an icon that outranked the I.O.I.P. Emperor. Game descended into rules squabbling, so Mike called it quits. [Fun at the gaming table. The I.O.I.P. was a figure of a Red Palace Guard of the Emperor's. Of course, the Emperor outranks anyone. Note my "typo" of rollplaying instead of roleplaying.]
12/20/97 Yesterday was Steve's Birthday! 5:32 am - set alarm clock to wish Steve a happy birthday on time! 7:00 am Dan calls for me to come in. I ignore the ans. machine. 7:30 Dan calls again - he's all by himself. I ignore it again. Howdy Ho! Get up! Come play with me! 10:00 Lisa calls: "Okay, I know you hate us, now. Can you come in to close? Call & let me know yes or no!" We finally get up & I call & tell Dan NO. I'm spending Steve's b-day w/Steve!
12/20/97 Mid-morning, Allison calls to tell me I won a Christmas tree for my Jewish boyfriend! Steve tries to go to the Dr. for follow-up blood draw, but there's a long line at the parking lot. He goes to Seessel's for powdered sugar & comes home. I frost his b-day cake. We go to get the tree. Bit of a Charlie Brown tree! [Allison was a professor at XXX, and part of the local Usual Suspects. She had a show at an alternative gallery, and she had Christmas trees hanging upside down, by their trunks. She had a "drawing" for them - you had to draw something to enter.]
12/20/97 After a quick stop at Target, we go to Dad's for dinner. Frosted meatloaf. Mashed potatoes. MMMMM... Twilight Imperium w/Jason. Matthew comes home. Loudly antagonizes Jason briefly. [Twilight Imperium, one of the best board games ever invented.]
12/24/97 Had to have a cry on Steve's shoulder. My Steve is a good friend. I've been trying to do too much w/the Christmas presents, etc. and still haven't had a chance to relax. Applying for that job, mailing out grad'n announcements. Looking for another job. Steve suggested I STOP and relax for a couple months.
12/24/97 Came home sleepy & took a short nap. Got up & made chicken enchiladas, tortilla chips & chocolate mousse while Steve took a long nap. After dinner, I fell asleep on the couch for awhile.
12/25/97 CHRISTMAS DAY Steve & I are at his Dad's hanging out & watching t.v. --- Car Wreck & other stuff. The boys called & are coming home from their Mom's early, so it will be louder later... [Car Wreck = Star Trek. Dad had just about every Next Gen and DS9 Star Trek on tape. It was a vast collection. We used to borrow them. Or watch them when we were over.]
12/25/97 I think the time for celebrating big family Christmases was over before I can remember. I don't remember Mar or Lin living at home. You know, I don't even remember opening presents with Betty Jean. We had everyone together at Christmas twice -- about 1970, and 1978. More expectations than realities. [More in a future post.]
12/25/97 As we were driving around yesterday, I was thinking how different it is to not have a traditional Christmas. No tree, or waking up to presents on Christmas morning. I've gotten a glimpse into what it must be like to not celebrate Christmas --- decorations are everywhere and everything is closed, but it doesn't feel different than any other day.
12/25/97 It doesn't bother me. It must have been like this for B.J. & Marilynn, all those years they didn't come home for Christmas. I wonder if they regret not coming home more often. Is it up to me to choose to be near them? Would they ever choose to live near me? [HA!]
12/25/97 I had a dream last night that XXX was a beautiful campus school, like Rhodes, and I knew a lot of the undergraduates, and graduation was coming up, and Mom was there, waiting to attend, standing outside a church, dressed in a long robe.
12/25/97 I'm ready for 1997 to be over. All this calendar year, everything I have done I have finished either right before it was due, or late. Classes Spring semester, papers, critiques, even through the summer, into fall, final orals, final show, book projects, even Christmas presents! Ready for this cycle to end.
12/25/97 It's so strange. The reason I moved here no longer exists. But my life has changed so much. I came here for the sole purpose of attending graduate school --- I was part of the small community of XXX. Now that I'm done, I feel like I've been shoved out the front door and it slammed behind me.
12/25/97 If it hadn't been for Steve, and all his support and affection and love, I would not have survived graduate school --- and I'd be really alone and sad right now, out of grad school and by myself in a strange city --- I can't even imagine it.
12/30/97 Mooshie ensconced in my lap.
12/31/97 The most important element of my life in 1997 was Steve.











































































