Like my 20s, post-grad, now I am tired, exhausted, spent. The putting-away was as tiring as my BFA program. Menopause is as exhausting as my 20s heavy periods. If I could go back now, what would I have done?
I believed that I needed to go back and learn accuracy. My Professors called it “rendering.” It’s like I stood back and let the train leave the station without me.
Abandoning my BFA artwork remains one of my life’s biggest regrets. There was such a rich treasure trove of images that I could have worked with.
Figure going over the wall. The Period Blood. Small figures together.
Figures in a window pane. The rectangles flying through the grid and breaking apart.
The clocks. I felt like I was running out of time. I was late. Things weren’t happening as quickly as I wanted. Also Sun and Moon. Passage of time.
Lots of grids. Some Dots. The abstract landscapes. Step by step figure in movement.
Movement. From left to right. The pyramid mountains made w/a ruler.
The flinching and leaning back and reacting. Like a ghost was after me. The moon on my bedroom wall.
Also – the Art World Mantra: What is the power of an image repeated? So I had a few of those.
Shapes in motion. Made w/ruler. Diving Woman. Was this a message to myself?
I was trying to bring order to the Chaos. To constrain it. Corral it. Fence it in. Frame it. Contain the chaos. Put it in a box. Turbulent emotions. I couldn’t express them, so I illustrated them.