I reblogged this on Tumblr but things tend to get washed out to sea in the ton of posts and reblogs so I wanted to post this here. The text below is from a study referenced in a story on bbc.com:
“In a study of children aged 2-5, parents interrupted their daughters more than their sons, and fathers were more likely to talk simultaneously with their children than mothers were. Jennifer Coates says: “It seems that fathers try to control conversation more than mothers… and both parents try to control conversation more with daughters than with sons. The implicit message to girls is that they are more interruptible and that their right to speak is less than that of boys."
Girls and boys’ differing understanding of when to talk, when to be quiet, what is polite and so on, has a visible impact on the dynamics of the classroom. Just as men dominate the floor in business meetings, academic conferences and so on, so little boys dominate in the classroom - and little girls let them.”
This is how I learned to be quiet as a child. I could not speak. If my Dad was home and awake, nothing I had to say was of any value.
When Dad got home from work, he would start talking to Mom and just wouldn't stop until he went to bed. He would sit in his chair and she would sit on the couch and he would talk and talk and talk and Mom would sit quietly and listen, working on her needlepoint or whatever. I could never interrupt. Nothing I had to say was of any importance.
We need to teach girls to speak - and scream! and yell! And sing from the rooftops!
I am about to turn 50 years old and I am still finding my Voice.
I don't carry a purse every day. I carry a backpack to work, with a big insulated lunch pack, a notebook for making (personal, art-related) notes, a snack bag, a coffee travel cup. I have no room for a big purse in my backpack. So, shortly after I started working at IU, I put my 'essentials' into a cloth drawstring bag (the pink bag below). I just need my wallet, pill bottle, lip balm, nail clippers and spare hair ties. On weekends my mini-purse goes into a larger backpack-style purse.
Long ago, after I was done quilting, I had a lot of fabric left over and began making cloth drawstring bags. I am not a great seamstress - I just folded over the edges and sewed them down, making a sleeve for the drawstring, then folded the bag in half and sewed together. I thought I was clever for figuring out how to make the bottom square (I had a cloth lunchbag I bought and I analyzed it to figure out how that was done). I sent some to my sister who uses them for shoe bags when she and her husband travel. (I thought I had an old blog post about the fabric bags but I must have deleted it during my Blog Purge - let me know if you want to know how to fold the bottom for a flat square bottom in a bag.)
While we were in Misery (2003-2006) I found a very handy use for a cloth bag. I was on my way to the bathroom with a feminine pad in my hand, wearing a suit with no pockets when a male coworker called to me from his office to ask me a question. WHAT TO DO WITH THE PAD? Luckily I was wearing a long sleeve suit jacket and pulled my hand up my sleeve, but was still caught off-guard. (Like: Seriously? I can't even go to the bathroom without answering a dumb question? Anyway-) So. I put my feminine products into a little cloth drawstring bag and from then on I carries the little bag with me down the hall.
Recently, I found some Zippered Pouch tutorials online (links below) and decided I would like one for my purse, rather than a drawstring bag, which is kind of difficult and messy, with everything a jumble. For Admin Professionals Day this year someone in the office gave me a $10.00 JoAnn Fabric gift card, so I went shopping for fabric and zippers. I will say that I wasn't happy with the fabric I bought - thin and cheap, very thready. But I don't know of a quilt shop here where I can get good-quality cotton quilting fabric.
I set up the sewing machine on Saturday and look what happened:
Symon, you can't sleep here! I need to sew!
He finally decided to claim the Computer chair:
I didn't take any progress pics while I was sewing, but both of the tutorials have excellent photos and instructions. I used the pattern in this tutorial for my purse (squares are cut out of the corners so it has a wide bottom and sits up). I used the pattern in this tutorial for the white and pink pouch. These pouches were surprisingly easy to make. I had never sewn a zipper before, and it was quite easy. The difficult part was sewing it all together and getting the zipper tabs to lay neat - my corners are a little wonky. I am sure neatness will come with practice.
One thing I didn't do was buy fusible cotton batting. I just bought regular. While sewing I realized why they recommended fusible - the batting and fabric shifted a bit during pinning and sewing.
Here is my former Purse, on the left. It was so filthy I washed it, but it came apart in the laundry so I just threw it away. The bag on the right is my current feminine product bag.
And here is the little white and pink bag. I made two of these, but they are so small I wasn't sure how to use them (if I wore makeup it would make a good makeup bag). I am using one for my cell phone charger in my backpack (better than a Ziploc bag). I didn't realize I cut out enough fabric to make two of each bag - I thought I only had two sets for the small one, so I bought an extra white zipper but not an extra for the other. I don't want to make another zippered pouch so I'm going to see if I can make a simple cloth bag for Steve to carry his cell phone charger.
I wrote about my time in Atlanta, but it was mainly facts about what happened when. I have been doing some journaling about the broader issues of how I was back then and how I have changed. As a result, I have come up with some ideas for how to deal with the Atlanta artwork. This is proving to be a difficult few Planks on the Bridge to cross. Maybe because it is churning up a lot of old feelings. Maybe it is my way of working them out of my system, so that I can continue on the bridge back.
I have 12 pieces in progress - one for each year I was in Atlanta. (I taped them up to our closet doors to assign drawings to each one - couldn't get a good pic of all of them.) I am going to fill in the neck and chest area with images from the Atlanta artwork. Stay tuned.